Healing Process

19 days…it’s been 19 days that I’ve blogged. And truth be told, it’s been 19 days since I’ve sincerely spent time with God. I’ve regressed so much that I let satan take a hold of my life again. I’m living my old sinful life again. I obviously ticked him off. It all started with my sharing of my victory of loneliness at the youth group service I spoke at. Later, God really showed me that He wants all of me as you read in my previous blog. God was doing many awesome things. It was the closest I’ve been to God in a long time. It wasn’t a needs basis. It was a genuine relationship. But something happened, I got sick. Boy, satan knows my weak area. He knew that I get incredibly discouraged every time I am sick. No one likes being sick but I get so miserable being sick.

Throughout the sickness, I was complaining and just feeling like utter crap. But something else changed…loneliness began to seep into me again. I was incredibly lonely since I couldn’t talk to people and I was in no shape to even chat online for a period of time. It was nasty. As loneliness began, it was just a downward spiral in my walk with God. I continually make the excuse that I’ll begin doing devotionals and so forth once I’m better. Well, I’m better and yet I haven’t been doing them. As I said, this moment has been the first moment I actually spent time with God in the past 3 weeks. It’s been hard for me and this month has been so bad.

But I have heart and hope that this is what’s ahead. It kind of seems illogical but I feel that this is satan’s way of trying to continue to discourage me. Remember, I am following God in becoming a school counselor. I am doing His work and something of this magnitude, of course I am going to face trials. Satan really doesn’t want me doing this. He would probably rather me sit behind that cubicle and be that IT guy. But seeking God and being in the front line for the children, that’s not an easy call yet also something that can impact lives. Doing all of this for the glory of God…satan just cringed!

So with that, I ask that you guys would truly keep me in prayer. First, MY HEALTH! I got a flu shot but I still feel rather cold today. I’m hoping it’s the weather change that it’s mid-50′s at the moment. But either way, keep my health in prayer in the aspect of satan not allowing to use it against me. That or I would overcome my health issues and stay glued onto God. Another thing I want you to pray for is just my overall well-being. Speeding ticket on the first day of internship and having a car accident in the same month is quite scary. But at the same time, God is in control and turning those negatives into positives. Please keep me in prayer in that aspect. I would greatly appreciate it.

Dear Heavenly Father, I’m so sorry. I’ve been neglecting You and at every tug of my heart, I ignored. I repent of my ways and just truly wish to re-surrender my life to You. I’ve tried to fill the voids of my own heart with the sins of my past but I can attest that nothing satisfies my soul more than You do. Give me the will and focus to spend time with You every moment. I also want to thank You for the blessings of parents. To understand the sacrifice they have made on my behalf, it really boggles my mind. May the sacrifice that they have made return to them as blessings. Throughout this whole time of getting the new car, I was reminded of Your grace. I do not deserve the awesome car that I got yet You made it happen. You orchestrated it into motion. I pray that financially things may be taken care of. May our family trust You in providing the funds for the car. I want to thank You for everything and that even as I neglected You, You still take me back. Thank You for the continual outpouring of Your love. Be with me daily. It’s evident to me that being a school counselor is really upsetting the enemy. Give me strength and the will to fight back. Thank You for another day. This day is Yours. I pray all these things in the name of Jesus. Amen.

Faith In Action

I don’t think I can begin to say how much God has been moving in my life. It’s really crazy and to an extent rather scary. My human side really wants to remain in control and wants to rebel against God. I don’t want to sacrifice. I want to go against His will and seek the things that I want to. I want to play Magic until the early morning hours because it brings enjoyment. I want to be able to stay comfortable and be content with what I have now. I want so many things in my life but God had other plans. All of those things that I want have to become pointless for the sake of knowing Christ. Although my flesh contests that I need to have certain areas of my life that I can control, my spirit knows that everything I am should be rooted in God.

This is SUCH a hard thing to practice. Having Romans 12:1-2 as your LIFE verse is not an easy burden. A living sacrifice? I knew that it would be tough to live a life devoted to Him but to this extent? I knew it was coming. No wonder I rebelled for so long! I resisted but just like everyone else, His kindness led me to repentance. God has slowly been showing me many things while working in my life. The first thing is that He is disciplining me into becoming more equipped for His mission. That is for me to be an effective counselor that emulates and exudes the love of Christ in every word. For me to come with a tender and loving heart and serve the students who may be forgotten and lost. That is the heart God gave me and He wants to train me for that.

This is not an easy task. There is NO way I am going to do this on my own. That’s precisely the point! God is finally taking Ken out of the picture. He is finally saying “You want people to see me when they see you? Let me reign in You!” and that’s scary in my human eyes. I no longer exist. It is now Christ who lives in me…for real this time. My past 5 years of service in the youth was done with the wrong attitude. My words and actions said one thing but the true reality is that my heart said something else. My service was in vain and although many were blessed, the key component was missing: love. Even in today’s service, we need love above all things. I believe now I have the right mentality. I am straight forward a better Christian now than I have been at any point in my life.

Please do not take this as an entry to receive pity or attention. The ONLY reason I share this is to attest to how God is working in my life. Maybe you are at the same spot I was: going through the motions and not truly letting God rule in your heart. I understand the apprehension towards it. It’s hard! But I know at the end of the day, He is saying “let go” so that we can hold onto something much better. What are you holding onto that God wants you to let go? For me, one thing was my sheer hobby of playing Magic. I loved the intricacy of the game but I let it  consume my heart. My waking moment was to check and update on any new content. God got jealous of that. I should be waking up thinking of what new content does God have for me. He has shown me a lot of other things that I need to let go. It hurts but I do know that through the pain and suffering that God will never let go.

God, You know how hard this is for me. To fully let go of my life so that You can begin to work. So many things the enemy is trying to do to discourage me. He knows that one of my weaknesses is through my suffering through illness. He is clever and has used it in many ways before. But God, I declare victory over this! You have overcome the world so I pray that it is with that power and authority that I overcome the attacks of my flesh. May my flesh die so that my spirit may live. May my own desires fade and be considered as rubbish for the sake of knowing who You are. May I cling onto You like I never have before. Continue to show me Your love on a continual basis. You have touched me in several ways in revealing of areas I need to allow You to work. I am done working on my own strength. Let me rely upon Your strength. I thank You for all the things You are doing in me. I pray that I would stay strong not by my power or might but by Yours alone. Continue to work in me. I would rather be sick if that means I may remain intimate with You. Thank You once again…for everything. I pray these things in Jesus Name, Amen!

Rocky Road

I know it’s been awhile for a new post and I apologize to all 5 readers (I actually do not know how many viewers I have so if I undershot, sorry again)! God has been so good to me but I must admit that it was a huge struggle. But one of the many things I learned is that His love NEVER fails and that His grace is truly enough. I mean it still boggles my mind that even in our sin that God loves us. The depth of His love is really incomprehensible. As I was spending time with Him today, an overwhelming joy hit me! Praise God truly because He is amazing.

I just want to give a few praise reports but prayer requests at the same time. I am ashamed to say that it was recently that I have prayed fervently and passionately about topics. The one thing I did notice is even when I said “I’ll pray for you” it seemed as if God’s favor and my spirit unknowingly did that. It was as if as I said those words a prayer went an autopilot even when I didn’t. Anyways, I want to share that the prayers that I’ve been praying have been coming to fruition. Praying for parents’ business has resulted in a VERY busy week and having more business than usual (PRAISE GOD!). Praying for my home church has slowly started stirring people towards God (AGAIN, PRAISE GOD!). It just seems like things are all falling into place not by our might but through God’s grace. It’s really exciting!

At the same time, this week was SUCH a struggle because last Monday we prayed for so many topics and had true fellowship at our church. With that, the enemy got really upset and I guess he attacked me. Maybe I wasn’t alone, only time will tell, but I really struggled this week. It was REALLY tough and actually led to slipping and falling but God picked me up and showered me with His love even more. But either way, I know that this is JUST the beginning. I know that we will have more spiritual attacks and that satan is REALLY going to try hardest to try to prevent us. He did this past weekend with me getting body aches and exhaustion for NO reason (then again, it could be the lack of quality rest with my wacky dreams). So with that, I pray that you would pray for us. Pray for FKBC and just the spiritual attacks that are coming. That we would be strong warriors and fight the battles.

I love you God. I thank you so much for the outpouring of Your love over me. I really cannot even begin to fathom BUT at the same time I delight in it. You are truly an awesome God and I am so pleased in You. Thanks for the revival You set in my heart. I pray that as I continue to spend time with You that You would begin to reveal more of my areas that need improvements. I also pray for the brothers and sisters as we are fighting the enemy through prayer and love. Be with us as if my struggles were any indication of what types of battles are to come, then we need to clinch onto You like never before. Please be with us as we continue to break the strongholds of the enemy and fervently pray for our fellow brothers and sisters. Unite us as one family to combat the darkness. Let Your light outshine his darkness. I thank You for this extra day of rest. May those resting be thoroughly replenished for the work week ahead. Please be with me as I reflect Your love as an intern at Springfield Estates Elementary School, the school You ordained me to be at. I thank You for this provision and I pray EVERYTHING in Jesus name, Amen!

Hurricanes Are Good

First and foremost, I’ve been getting a few positive responses to many people about this blog. I wanted to spend a quick moment and praise God for that. I truly did not start this as a way to praise myself but to show who is REALLY doing the work, God. I pray that those who do take a few moments to read my sometimes very lengthy blog would be blessed beyond measure. That at the very last word, that your intimacy with Him would deepen. It has been an amazing ride and it’s only been two weeks. Literally best two weeks of my life (so far). Praise God that you guys are blessed!

God has been reminding me many things this week. Starting this week, my passion has been slowly fading as you saw in my previous post. With that, I truly felt God pursue me more. Yesterday as I was doing devotionals twice (once alone but continued later in the day with two other brothers), God truly rekindled the fire and zeal that I had. It came once I read Psalms 119: 97-104 since it literally reflected the desires of my heart. Today, God just reminded me a few things that started the waterworks in my eyes. As you read in other blogs, my biggest fear is being alone forever. God reminded me gently that He will never leave me. This is such a cliche saying that we hear in Sunday School and often utter these words without realizing the magnificent impact of this in our life. He will NEVER leave. For me, that is the greatest thing to hear as it’s one of my issues. Man, this God is good!

Ss I am sitting here waiting for the hurricane to hit us, I really am excited. Of course it will provide minor inconveniences like lack of electricity or living off PB&Js for three days but I still think it allows many great things. One is that it allows us to spend time with people whom we love. With all these modern conveniences gone, it slows down life so that we can spend time with loved ones. I remember when we got hit with snow and didn’t have power for 36 hours. It did suck not being able to do some of the things I wanted to but God really used that time for our family to spend time together. It was fun cooking out using the fireplace. I think this hurricane is a great reminder to spend time with those we love.

Dear Heavenly Father, you are good! You remind me each and every day how great You are. I cannot comprehend the love You continue to shower upon me yet that is Your character. I thank You for that. May I be content in You and may that be enough in my life. I want to be fully satisfied in You and You alone. Allow me to trust You in that way. I also pray for others that they may feel this same love as well. Whatever barriers and walls that they have set up, I pray against that in the name of Jesus! I pray that you would break down their walls to meet them personally. I also pray for this hurricane. First, please keep all my fellow brothers and sisters safe. Keep their families safe as well. May the time they spend together be a blessing in Your eyes. Thank You once again for EVERYTHING You have done. I pray all these in the mighty and awesome name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Separation Anxiety

This first week after retreat is rather interesting. I see God moving in my life and how He gently reminds us of His goodness. I truly see everything in different lenses. Praise God! God never ceases to amaze me. Even times when I am seeking Him, I sense God wanting to seek me even more. I am still puzzled but thankful for it. If I were to be honest and say that I have been growing in intimacy with God every day, I would be lying. It’s not that I haven’t been reading my Bible and spending time with Him because I have. It just feels like every day is so hard to reconnect with God. Every day I feel distant from Him and it’s through the devotional that I regain a connection and the gap is closed.

Even before I started today’s devotional, I showered so that I can be alert and awake for whatever God has in store for me today. I had a long but fun day yesterday but I did not want to lose focus on God. With that being said, a friend texted me a verse and I instead just decided to read the whole chapter. It could not ring any truer in my heart. Then I read My Utmost for His Highest and today was about the same thing: sacrifice. It was crazy how I felt in my spirit that there were so many things getting in the way of my relationship with God. I sense my guarded being lowered but spending time with God on a daily basis reminds me that I need to keep my guard up high otherwise I will slip and lose focus.

Dear Heavenly Father, first and foremost I repent of my actions. My mind has continued to wander throughout our time together and as any person would feel hurt, I am sorry for doing so. I pray for the spirit of distraction to be distracted (heh) and would be gone in Jesus name! I pray that my true focus would be You and EVERYTHING is a reminder of Your love. I thank You for yesterday in showing me Your will going into full motion as I got my ID badge for my internship. I pray that You would use me to reflect Your heart to the children. May I truly live for You and seek You only! May all the other things that may distract me from You be gone. Make my desires for those things to be distasteful in my eyes. May I loathe those things God. May the only thing that satisfies the hunger I have be  You. Please continue to bring people around me that would not only be concerned with their own walk with You but also guide me in a deeper love for You. Bless them and I already know You are setting them into motion. Thank You once again for Your provision. May I be a blessing. In the name of Jesus I pray these things, Amen.

Caution: Speed Bump

Things were going well yesterday. God spoke through a brother about his experience in Hawaii and it was amazing. One whole hour of his testimony in how God changed him. Crucial blessings! Fast forward later in the evening and something painful yet marvelous, only through Him, happened: my inner hurt came out while playing Magic. Yes, Magic became an example of His goodness. It is rather interesting but God is way more bigger and can work in very special ways. To set up the scene, I was developing things in the game and felt as if I was being targeted when I went defensively. One action led to another and eventually I gave up being discouraged. Later on the evening as I tried to forget about it, we got into a heated talk where we were yelling at 2AM. It was rather bad and if the story ended here, it wouldn’t be entirely encouraging or edifying….enter God.

Just through the mediation of the situation and my ride home, I realized two things. One, there were some inner hurts I had to deal with. I literally exploded and it really hurt. I couldn’t explain why and whatnot but some button was pushed. To explode the way I did, it wasn’t justifiable. It had to be a deep wound. Another thing was that it was an attempt to lose sight of what’s important in my life, my relationship with Christ. The enemy in his crafty ways was trying to discourage me and you know what, it worked…temporarily. I was wondering what the heck is going on and for a good period of time, I lost sight of Him. I was actually curious to see my response. Would this lead me to clinging onto Him more or would I use other “coping mechanisms” to make me “feel better”? Praise God it was the former and that God revealed something in my heart which made me explode.

God revealed that I still have a lot of hurt from my past. That my loneliness and issues with trusting people deeply is still present. Thinking that it was vanquished, I thought I was fine but God reminded me through my Magic scenario that I need to work on it. I’ve exploded like this in other times when I often felt neglected, picked on and just forgotten. I can strongly say that it’s my greatest fear…always being alone. What’s the point of sharing this? Why be completely transparent about my insecurity? To testify that God is working in me! God is going to slowly teach me and rid me of this insecurity. He has always reminded me that I have people who deeply care and would continue to show grace and mercy even in my ugliness. It was shown to me that evening by the host! Reflecting, He revealed the heart of God extending grace and mercy above all things.

With all this being said, please I urge you to pray for me. It literally has been plaguing my life. My relationships with people have never been deep because I would always put up walls for people not to enter. Pray against this. I truly feel that what happened last night was not an accident; it was His divine plan. He knew that the people I were with would speak truth into my life and extend forgiveness that emulates Christ’s love. Through this love provides proof against my biggest fears. I apologize, again, for my actions but realize that God was just unveiling further areas of growth in order to be a faithful servant. All the words of hurt I said, I rebuke that and wish blessings upon you.

God, you never cease to amaze me. Even in my ugliness, You’re goodness shines! Romans 8:28 coming to light and revealing that You truly are omnipotent. I pray that You would bring brothers and sisters in Christ in my life that would enable me to break down these walls. I pray that the brothers who extended mercy and grace to me late this morning would be blessed. You obviously had a purpose for this and I trust in You. Please remind me daily how I much I need to cling to You. Continue to refine me and mold me. I am the clay and You are the potter; shape me into the instrument You wish to make me. Allow me to give up these hurts in my life that will hinder my relationships and ultimately the ministry that You have ordained me to do. In Jesus name I pray, amen.

Uncharted Territory

As I am just reflecting on my life, this type of devotion and enamored love I have for God is new. I wish I would have been smitten by His love for a long time but as I came home around 4AM last night playing Magic with people from church, I went in with one mentality: may it not interrupt my relationship with Him. It’s rather difficult as it can get exciting and fun but it’s in that fun that I can return back to my sinful life of idolatry. Even on the ride back, I felt God tugging at my heart saying, “Ken, glad you had fun but don’t forget about Me”. To hear these words just reminds me of His unremarkable love. He desires my heart and wants my all and clearly knows well how I am and did not want for anything to supersede Him. Once I am committed to something, I literally wrap myself around it. I even dream about it. I dreamt about Magic and that concerned me. Even with the lack of sleep, I had to be faithful to God and that dream felt disturbing in my spirit.

Even though that things may begin to get shaky, I am reminded of His grace. I know I am going to falter as living a life for Christ is not exactly an easy thing. My fleshly desires are already wanting to overcome the desires of my spirit. But His grace is so amazing that even as things get shaky, it will be by His guidance that He won’t let go. Even knowing this, my flesh constantly reminds me of the price of sacrifice. Already I am constantly asking whether something would be glorifying Him and edifying for my walk with God. I’m already asking God where He wants to lead but when the rubber hits the road, I need to be able to obey. Without obeying, convictions are pointless. Am I really able to follow Him if He says “Ken, remove TV in your life” or “Ken, remove everything in your life and I want you to be constantly reading My Word and praising me”? I honestly don’t know. I love watching certain shows. I love doing my Ken-like things. But I have to be reminded that whatever the cost of sacrifice is, the rewards and God’s faithfulness will certainly outweigh my sacrifice. Again, conviction without obedience is pointless.

Dear Heavenly Father, you are amazing and your tender heart never ceases to amaze me. I am worried and bothered God. May my life truly be all about you. I pray that these words would not be just words that land on ground that will never sprout. I pray that these words would land on fertile ground and begin to grow and mature. I pray that as I typically wrap my mind around my hobbies and desires that the object of my affection would be You. May I wrap my mind around You and may every waking moment be concerned about spending time with You. Give me the strength and courage to sacrifice my desires and truly seek you. Give me the opportunities and strength to be obedient to Your convictions. Thank you for reminding me of my priorities. I love You so much. I pray that this love for You would multiply and be evident in my life to others. May I be a witness of You. I also pray for others who are struggling with living out their convictions as well. I pray for my brothers and sisters who are slowly feeling the world re-entering their lives. I pray You would remind them just as You remind me, with gentleness and love. Be with them as their journey and relationship with You deepens. I pray all these things in the mighty name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

Love is Contagious

God is too awesome that using “awesome” is eventually going to wear out and become irrelevant because God is much bigger than that. It’s amazing to see how God moves. I know God is moving everywhere but to see it move at ANDC is amazing. Unfortunately, I must be completely transparent. As much as God did bless my departure for moving from ANDC, I can see that partly it has to do with my own selfishness. Seeking myself and my wants played a role into my departure at ANDC. As I began to share life with them this whole week, I had mixed feelings. One was being blessed at seeing how every student there is genuinely seeking God. At the same time, I am distraught at the fact that I missed the growth. I am hurt that at the time ANDC needed a leader that I was one who left. I apologize to ANDC but obviously even through my selfishness God made it a blessing and made it good just as He promised in Romans 8:28. It was God being God and He sent awesome leaders and shepherds to ANDC and praise God for that. 

To continue on ANDC, I FINALLY got to join a Friday service. Even though I spent a week with ANDC, I cannot express how much the love of God radiates through the members. It literally brought me to the verge of tears to see these things. To see the long time members that I used to serve and pray for now serving the church in their talents really is one of the most beautiful sights ever. Seeing their relationship with God deepening cannot provide a greater satisfaction. Seeing former students become leaders and drawing others to Christ…beautiful. I had the unique opportunity to have one of my former students lead the church in corporate worship. It was surreal and awakening to see this. Even despite the mistakes that he made, he had the ONE thing that was stressed in his youth: the heart of worship. I could have never imagined that God would use him like that. I commend you for your courage and brother, keep praising and keep cultivating your gifts as a praise leader. 

It’s still weird and awkward to see the former students grown up like this. Maybe there is some deeper issues that God must work on but it truly is a blessing to see them live for God and seeing God in their lives. What used to be that shy and unassertive person has now become a bold and courageous warrior for God. I thank you for blessing me with just your mere presence. Continue to seek God because it is honestly one of the most beautiful things to see.

Dear Heavenly Father, I pray over ANDC right now. I first want to thank You for all You’ve done in them. You are raising up great men and women of God. Continue to nourish them and may their desires of their heart slowly change to Your desires. Allow them to be obedient. Give them opportunities to love others. Show them more of You. I pray that through their service that first and foremost, You are pleased. I also pray that through their service that Your heart will be revealed and that they would fall in love with You more each day! Thank you for keeping these wonderful brothers and sisters in my heart. Be with them always. In the precious name of Jesus I pray. Amen!

God is good…real good!

So I just got home a few hours ago from the ANDC Retreat and it was amazing. I know the most common thing said about a retreat is about being blessed and that we had a great time. It would still apply to this retreat but it would not provide a sufficient response in how much I got blessed. If anything, I can say it was thoroughly life changing. God truly met in a special and deeper way that completely caught me off guard. He really showed up, shook me, then embraced me. There are so many great moments at this retreat that I can go on and on for days about. I can talk about how everyone at the retreat was genuinely seeking God. They were hungry and thirsting for His voice and love to know that He is indeed there for them. He then met each person individually and if that were the end of the description, most people would grade this retreat positively. Unfortunate for those people, we just hit the tip of the iceberg. To see ANDC love God more than their life is amazing. After serving there for a few years and then God leading me elsewhere, it was such a huge blessing to see where God has led them. To see that they are living for God really melted my heart. It really showed me the value of ministry and seeing the fruits of labor. Now this is truly sufficient for any leaders but God decided to take my sufficient feelings and overwhelm me with just abundant blessing. It was crazy the turn of events had led. For those who aren’t there, let’s paint this picture.

I was sitting after service and talking to a friend and she asked the question of who would speak on Thursday since our guest speaker was leaving early. Jokingly, I told her that I would be the speaker. I got another friend to play along and then the youth pastor to play along. Eventually what turned as a joke turned a little more serious when the pastor shared that she wouldn’t mind me if I wanted to give that final sermon. At first I made excuses saying I wasn’t prepared but God had other plans. Throughout the whole next day God stirred in my heart saying that He wanted me to do it. After that evening’s praise where we sang of His goodness, I came to the conclusion that God wanted me to speak and that I would indeed be that speaker on the last morning of the retreat. What started as a practical joke turned into something that edifies the Kingdom! That’s the amazing power of God working in me. This was also done to show me that by my power and strength, nothing is possible but by His power and strength all things were possible. So this morning I stood in front of ANDC and for the first time, shared my life story and how God guided me. It was intense, surreal yet an indescribable joy was present. I shared and for those of you who heard this, I pray that you got blessed and that you would act on your own convictions with boldness and bravery like I did.

So here we are to this moment, blogging in my bed with my eyes feeling heavy. There is one thing I want every person reading to understand, I am in love with Jesus more than my own desires. I truly cannot stop thinking about Him and literally every second I think about Him. God is changing my heart and right now, it’s the honeymoon phase. Everything is good. I just came back from the retreat and it’s still fresh and the blessings coming are still in my present memories. But it’s when those memories fade and the world begins to take over my life or when I reach that valley that real faith and passion will be revealed. My biggest fear is that this honeymoon phase would just be that, another empty promise made after a retreat. Sooner or later I let sin enter my life, disobedience enter my life and then selfishness enter my life. That is my greatest fear. I pray that all of you would keep me accountable. I want to use this blog to not only share my life with everyone in how God is using me but also as a marker for people to remain accountable with me in my walk. I am really done with this and truly want to seek God and His divine plan. Please pray for me that this relationship I have with Him would deepen and that I would not let anything interfere with getting to know the one who made everything. 

God, I love You. You blessed me abundantly through grace and mercy that I can still not fathom. It’s with this adoration that I may continue my love of you. I pray that every waking moment I would not forget the tenderness of your heart and the warmth of your embraces. My biggest fear is to forget about you and what you’ve done. Please, let that not happen. In fact, I pray for opportunities for that to happen so that I may stand and fight the fight through prayer and petition. I truly want to live only for you so that I may live out the calling you have placed on my heart to be a living sacrifice. May you truly reign in my life to the point where Ken no longer exists but more so you living in me. Please be with me but also I pray that you woud bless those who read this. May you truly touch them like you touched me. I thank you for my brothers and sisters and I pray these things in the mighty name of Jesus. Amen.